Football is not worth watching

During the Tour de France last year, this happened:

This was what resulted for Johnny Hoogerland, the one you see somersaulting into a barbed wire fence:

Sure enough, he went on to finish the stage (139th), and then the rest of the tour (74th).  This was on Stage nine, so there were nearly two more weeks of racing to follow.  Now, can you imagine a professional footballer in a similar situation?  Of course not, there are no cars on the pitch, rarely any barbed wire and the match only lasts for 90 minutes.  Is there a football match played these days in which you will not see one or more of these preening prima donnas rolling on the turf looking as of they’ve been shot?  It sickens me to see such overt play acting; it angers me that the football authorities do nothing about it.  Any fool can see that the vast majority of the injuries are feigned simply to gain an advantage.

There’s currently talk about the use of goal line technology.  I’d prefer to see the technology put to better use in ridding the sport of a bunch of cheating, overpaid gobshites.  I’d also like to see the managers show the players some video of some of cycling’s real hard men, to show their fragile little charges exactly what it’s like to get properly hurt during a game.  The disgraceful example shown to millions of young footballing wannabes is unforgivable.

While I’m at it, two more things spring to mind: 1: football should learn from rugby in order to reduce or eliminate the amount of back-chat aimed at referees – simply award a further 10 metres advantage and/or adopt the ‘sin bin’ system, and 2: Fergusson, he of the Manchester United variety, should learn to chew that revolting gum without displaying to the world at large, and to dispose of it nicely.  Knight of the realm, my arse.

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4 Responses to “Football is not worth watching”

  1. Bruce Says:

    Feel exactly the same – and used the same example with friends. “Welcome to Hoogerland, population HERO”

  2. Dave Says:

    I agree with the author’s views about the rugby and have for many years said football would be much better if some of its values and rules could be inculcated into the game. Likewise, I have no time for feigned injuries and diving either.
    However, I feel bound to point out that while the author refers to such activities as cheating, he/she has conveniently overlooked the elephant in the room, to wit, the fact that performance-enhancing drugs have been known to be widely taken in international cycling for years. Now that really is cheating, I’m sure you’d agree.
    There is always the option to turn one’s television off, or onto a different channel to watch something else rather than sitting watching the football regardless whilst gnashing one’s teeth and complaining about it.

    • berevington Says:

      Thanks for the comment. Frankly, to suggest that drugs in cycling is the EitR is rather naive; there is not a cyclist I know that is not acutely aware of the drug problem. Hopefully, the really dark days are behind us and the sport is now cleaner than it has (ever?) been, but the stigma remains. Just about anyone asked to comment on cycling will mention the drug scandals, and this is becoming rather tiresome.

      The point of my post is that the culture of feigned injury (aka cheating) is so open on the football field, but as far as I have been able to ascertain, nobody does anything about it. Thus, it is a bad example to youngsters. In cycling the injuries cannot be feigned (cuts, bruises and road rash are there for all to see) and the riders simply remount and get on with the race. Thus, the example to aspiring cyclists is positive. Forgive me if this is a naive appraisal of the two. Perhaps you are suggesting that PEDs will deaden the pain? If so, perhaps you’d like to comment on the EitR that is the drug taking in football and every other sport, which doesn’t attract anything like the same press coverage. Why is that?

      For the record, I don’t sit and watch football, gnashing my teeth. I only ever get to see it if I’m in someone else’s house or in a pub (or similar) – one feigned injury later I’m reminded of why it’s never on at home, and I’m off into another room to contemplate the meaning of life.

  3. My Twenty One Year Love Affair with the Tour de France « fiftyyearsandcounting Says:

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